A Lot Ado About Having Sex With Lesbians | Autostraddle

It’s been a large week for homosexual-related first person narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual guides!

Our first piece concerns you via xojane, the ladies’s web site oriented up by Jane Pratt (my personal character)

(i am significant) of




Titled ”
I’m a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this part falls under the “It Happened in my opinion” feature which existed at JANE mag and is made up mostly of writer/reader-submitted records of subjectively fascinating individual encounters.

The unknown writer of this part, exactly who we’ll contact “Ariel,” is actually bisexual, but because she conveniently supplies strike tasks to her male partners but doesn’t day or frequently decrease on females, she’s, she clarifies, theoretically, just a ”


Pillow Princess.” (She also identifies by herself as “mostly direct” and “directly” at some other things during the story.) Her reputation started, she explains, when her basic lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke known as Kelly at the woman college — took place on her for one hour. She la-la-la-loved it and right away fled the scene fearing her own incapacity to do such great cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a protracted time period.

She writes:

“not surprisingly, phrase had gotten around that she and that I had connected hence I’d kept the girl holding, which in fact had the odd effectation of offering myself folk-heroine standing. Kelly also known as myself a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I was one. It absolutely was like some form of flick conceit where in fact the character is recognised incorrectly as a celebrity and reaches ride in a limo and remain in an elegant lodge as a result of it.”

This obviously entirely exercised in her benefit, as she romped about in university connecting with lots of “aggressive kinds exactly who had gotten down regarding idea that I was unwilling to allow a girl touch me.” Post-college, she shifted toward internet, where she marketed her calm condition and frequently found up with women for NSA intercourse.

Around the end she problematically clarifies that whenever starting up with a woman she is not keen on, she just closes the woman vision and envisions someone else “while [the lesbian] does the woman thing.” Often it may seem like she wishes females for eating her out just because they are presumably much better at it than men are. She


decrease on them but “I am not online dating all of them, and I don’t believe i’d want my personal fetish corrupted by looking after somebody enough to hand back.”

I’dnot want to sit next to Ariel on a plane, but the woman one-sided sexual encounters are consensual and she is only telling a genuine tale of the woman life, and so I’m certainly not certain what to model of this (and I’m interested to know what you make from it, if something).

Next, on Jezebel (via
The Nice Men Venture
) there is
We Married a Lesbian (And I’m a man)
. The writer, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended to obtain crushes for a passing fancy version of woman: the celebrity baseball player, the football onward, the swimmer. Some happened to be lesbians. Some just weren’t.” The guy wondered:

What exactly is it that drew me personally many times to women that had been same-sex drawn? It surely was not the stereotypical male dream about what these people were performing during intercourse, therefore certainly had nothing to do with a macho notion that i possibly could turn a gay woman straight.

In components, the part (which really does tred on some stereotypical soil) reminded me personally of this offer from

The Girls Next-door

that I cited in an article about feminine manliness

“…if we’d to create another generalization about lesbian taste, it will be that the majority of all of us tend to be incredibly interested in women, homosexual or right, stunning or not, exactly who look as if they’re able to manage themselves.”

The writer at some point marries a lesbian who presented as directly, in which he found their ensuing love life are unsatisfactory. She would not offer him strike tasks and didn’t like entrance but joyfully approved their offerings of cunnilingus. Whenever their sexless marriage finished in breakup and a drug relapse (for him), they are apparently compassionate to their ex-wife’s endeavor without marking the woman as misleading (as numerous regarding the commenters do):

She had come from a conventional household who happen seriously embarrassed to possess a gay son or daughter. She may will have understood, but did her best to hide it, maybe wishing that the woman thoughts might change. Or she might have been like lots of females i have understood, and only found her real intimate identity after already becoming married to a person.

What is redeeming about it essay for me that the writer’s conception of his very own gender is usually without any the traditional masculine posturing any might count on in a piece similar to this (he actually relates to himself as “femmy”). Perhaps it just appears that means because males thus seldom write on wishing strong, athletic, powerful ladies with short-hair; but it is refreshing however.

I really don’t fault Hugo or Ariel for telling their unique tales, but it is really worth mentioning that both narratives apparently ride regarding the idea that room behavior will be the ultimate/only litmus test of sex. Hugo and Courtney enjoy each other’s organization, but Hugo alludes to Courtney’s disinterest in entrance as a “warning indication” the guy missed, when penetration is hardly an exclusively heterosexual act (it appears more inclined Courtney dreaded the closeness of penetration with a man she didn’t truly want as with, but really that knows) and slipping in love, fundamentally, is mostly about the pussy but it’s also concerning your center and it’s generally about having intimate feelings. Those passionate emotions are the thing that converts a hook-up relationship into a relationship, in the end.

At long last at


we have a nice story right from the pony’s mouth area —
My Personal Very First Time: Female. 17. Bay Area
. I think this is the very first time the “very first time” series has presented a lesbian.

Basically, in ninth quality, the writer confessed to her best friend that she had lesbian thoughts for her, and her closest friend reciprocated, and additionally they proceeded to carry on a covert lesbian relationship and they’re still together now and she actually is a grown-up in armed forces!

This indicates they will have however to get their own relationship from the closet, which can be slightly puzzling, but whatever

. [


: ends up this tale had been composed before DADT was repealed, although it just got posted, thus nothing is puzzling occurring right here. This is simply straight-up sweet in most way, unequivocally.]

The main focus associated with the part (that’s really lovable and sweet) is on mcdougal’s discovery of
just what lesbian intercourse IS

We had never ever been down on each various other, and I was actually confident that is what we might meant when we said we planned to make love. (Now I know that absolutely a lot more to fucking than licking a lady’s vagina and contacting it a day.)

She concludes:

I understand that the majority of individuals disagree by what virginity means to a gay woman, but virginity is completely subjective, and it also truly is dependent upon the person you’re inquiring. Some individuals might state penetration needs to be included, but I think its doing anyone shedding his/her virginity. Basically feel just like I’ve missing my personal virginity, subsequently goddammit, i’ve!

I’ve invested all the morning and mid-day looking at word press, trying to puzzle out what point i possibly could make about these parts. I imagined a whole lot about the reason we’d never distribute “I became a Lesbian Pillow Princess” on this subject internet site but are unable to get past the explanation that I’d fear 50 people would vow to never get back here as well as the remaning many-thousands people would battle with each other about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure up until the heating death of the market. I pictured some body submitting “I found myself a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to us via email then We dreamed the article conference in which we would reach that tale and all of state “NO” as well.

In on the lookout for a place to gleam from all of these stories, I tried to determine what you’d believe or say, and that I are unable to, and I also wish to complete this blog post at the earliest opportunity to improve the process of me learning what you think about these stories. Yup, the very first time ever since beginning Autostraddle, i have got no clue things to say about a thing. Thus maybe i ought to only want to know — what is the reaction to these parts?

Prior to going!

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